A Lonely Night
by Blackangel280
Summary: In a dark alley, Jasper contemplates suicide alone. No one will miss him. He's sure of it... Jasper/Alice One-Shot. All Human. AU. Rated T for mentions of suicide


I toyed with the silver blade in between my fingers. My eyes flicked from the shiny, clean blade to my wrist.

Should I do it?

I frowned, lifting my right hand to brush blond hair from my face. I'd done too much in my life _not_ to. I owed it to all the people I killed.

For a fleeting second, I thought to Maria's face. Beautiful, but cold, merciless. She felt no regret from slaughtering all those people.

Even though at the time, I'd believed that letting her take the fall would be justice, for she felt nothing, not even a bitter sadness, only joy, the guilt was eating me alive now. I deserved to be rotting in prison. At least if she was out she wouldn't feel like I did now.

I took the smooth, cool blade and touched it experimentally to my right wrist. I pressed it lightly, a sharp pain shot through my skin where the point pressed farthest and a little drop of blood squeezed itself out.

I removed the blade wiped it on my jeans, then stroked away the blood from my wrist with a thumb.

I frowned again, deeper this time, my mind reeling. Should I? Shouldn't I? Would anyone miss me?

I thought about my mother, Esme. Adoptive mother, that is. She was sweet, caring, too loving to me after my past. No, she wouldn't miss me. She may weep for a while, but she wouldn't _miss_ me.

Carlisle. My adoptive father. Yes? No? I wasn't sure. I knew he loved Edward most. Then Emmett. I came last. Always had. No, he wouldn't miss me.

My sister, Rosalie. Ha. There was a laugh. She was so caught up in herself that she wouldn't even notice I was _gone_.

I bit my lip and pushed the blade to my wrist again. I didn't draw blood this time, before my tightening stomach made me pull it away again.

I _wanted_ to do this. I wanted it with all my being. Anything was better then living with this regret. But something held me back. Something tugged at the back of my mind, something kept me from sliding that blade across my wrist, ending it all.

So I sat there, staring blankly at the shiny silver blade. I don't know for how long. It seemed like years before I snapped out of my trance, and peeked out of the alleyway. The night was dark, no stars lit the sky.

I sighed heavily, snapping the blade closed and slipping it into my back pocket. I pressed my palms flat to the cement ground and stood, before shoving them into my pockets.

I strode out of the alley, back onto the streets. I was a few feet away from the circular pools of light from the street lamps. Esme would be worried.

I began my walk along the street, the bitter wind nipping at my arms nothing to me. It didn't even make me shiver.

I turned onto a darker street, but I didn't feel any fear. Why fear death if I had been beckoning it toward me so willingly only minutes ago?

I walked under a flickering light when I felt eyes on me. My hairs on the back of my neck stood on end and a prickling sensation consumed it. I shivered for the first time this night.

Then someone, to my surprise, skipped out of the darkness of one of the lawns in front of me. She was a tiny little thing, skinniest thing I ever saw, but not in an unhealthy way. Her hair was in a pixie cut, black as the night behind her. Her eyes were dark, almost black and shimmering with...joy? Excitement?

She smiled at me, literally skipping up and wrapping her skinny arms around my neck. Catching me by surprise.

"Hello!" She greeted brightly despite the late hour, "My name is Alice, and your name is Jasper!" She chirped.

I just stared at her.

"You know, I love you!" She got up on her tip toes and kissed my cheek before pulling back and grinning at me again.

I blinked twice. Everything settled in my mind. It had taken this girl, this tiny little thing, less then 20 seconds to introduce herself (and myself, actually) and profess her love for me and I hadn't even known her an entire minute yet. Yet, strangely, I was totally at ease with the whole situation and I found myself replying to her statement, the words flowing smoothly off my tongue as if meant to be, "I love you, too."

She released my neck and grabbed my hand in her tiny one, "Are you going to take me home?" She asked, tilting her head to the side and looking at me expectantly, a radiant smile blossoming on her small pink lips.

I found myself smiling back, something I hadn't done in a while. I began to walk again and she skipped by my side.

Alice...

Alice Hale.

I liked the sound of that. I liked it a _lot_.

As I walked with her by my side, my mind drifted to the knife in my back pocket. I realized what had stopped me from bringing the knife across my wrists. This tiny little girl by my side. The girl I'd met mere minutes ago and had already decided that we were going to spend our entire lives together.

She kissed my hand, "I knew we would meet. And I knew we would fall in love. And I knew you were the most amazing person ever." She smiled at me again.

Yes.

That was the answer to my question.

Had I had gone through with it.

Someone _would_ have missed me.


End file.
